Murder and 54% Only Graduate

My mother called me this hot afternoon with concern in her voice. I braced myself for news that someone was dead. Hanging out in my front yard apparently is not wise according to O Magazine. She wanted educate me that pregnant women are prime pickings for murder.
“I don’t want to hear it, mom,” I said rolling my eyes. I then began to explain to her that I needn’t any help adding to my irrational fears (I already deadbolt my doors because I’m afraid someone will walk into my home to kill and rape us whilst my husband fetches us slurpies from the gas station. That’s just one of many). “I know this is coming from concern, but please don’t go there,” I concluded. She hung up hurt, but Jes’ one neurosis at a time.
Speaking of Oprah, I learned that the great (sense the sarcasm) state I reside in ranks last in education. Only 54% of students actually graduate! OMG! That my friends, is a major reason why we will be home schooling. We cannot afford private schooling and we wouldn’t dare put them in public. That’s so sad.